Growing Up

I've decided it's time.  Now that I'm 70, I've been reflecting on
entries made in my old journals.  Come to find out my thoughts and
questions haven't changed much through the years.  I'm stuck.  Stuck
asking the same questions over and over, stuck in my habits, actions
and expectations.  That is not a good thing!  I should be growing,
changing, making progress.  Maturing.  But it seems to be one step
forward and ninety-nine steps right back to where I started.  I don't
learn a thing!  My beloved children, now forty-one and forty-four are
more wise in their thinking than I am.  My daughter writes that God
doesn't disappoint us, only life's circumstances do.  Having been
turned down for a barista job a few months ago and now seeing the help-
wanted ad in the paper again, she says, "If only they had hired
someone not qualified, but dependable, I'd have learned what there was
to learn and they wouldn't be looking for help so soon!"   My son
writes of 'the comforts of decay' and the 'beloved ailments of the
elderly.'  He remarks that 'runners run to cope with life's
uncertainties and to make sense of the senseless.' 

I'd been thinking about all this before our sermon on Sunday.  Then it
hit me right between the eyes.  Forgetting what's behind, pressing on,
eating solid food instead of Similac.  There was a statement at the
bottom of the sermon notes asking what God is challenging me to do in
this area.  The answer was loud and clear:  Grow up, Judy.  Replace
doubt with trust once and for all.  I'm still the light for your path
and I'll be hiding you in the palm of my hand.  The choice is yours.  
The results are mine.